Imagine this. You’ve got hold of a knackered ladder that’s been used on many a decorating project. You’re having a bit of a clear out — and instead of taking it to the recycling centre, or freecycling it, you put it on eBay for a starting bid of £25 (plus £14 for postage) and describe it as shabby chic.

Neil wants me to ask the seller if they’re for real.