Sometimes I think I’m the non-cheese-moving type. Other times I think I’m all about moving the cheese.

Frivolously, this dairy product metaphor has appeared in my drive to re-design.

Do you guys prefer the standard weblog layout, with full-length posts appearing in the main content column of this site and other stuff in the sidebar, or would you be happy for a little experimentation (i.e. a non-PHP-coder hacking away at the WordPress Loop) on my part?

I have an idea, you see. It’s not exactly fully-formed, but it’s gestating away in the back of my mind (better than other things gestating, even though my friend Ken has reminded me that our biological clocks are ticking away). Many sheets of A4 printed on a single side (before I discovered duplex booklet printing on the photocopier) are being recycled with my scribbles.

You know, I think I might do both and keep everyone happy (except for those who won’t be).

Hehe. Tell me what you think, anyway, and post links of clever (not necessarily beautiful) WordPress designs to inspire me*.

* When I should be planning the bloody wedding — why is it the person who has always wanted to elope to Vegas has become responsible for this?

• went to Body Pump (upped the weights — I’m aching)
• went shopping in Glasgow with Carene
• had chips and curry sauce for dinner (mmm)
• went to Brian and Carene’s, then the pub, then back to Brian and Carene’s (where I promptly fell asleep, to no one’s surprise)
• snacked on cup-a-soup and savoury bakey goodness
• crocheted (quack quack) while watching Raiders of the Lost Ark (whee!)

No prizes for guessing which participant in this phone conversation is my mum.

“So what are you wearing?”

“A blue cheongsam.”

“(Happy voice) Oh that’s good… is it sleeveless or will it have sleeves?”

“It’s sleeveless, but a traditional design.”

“So your tattoos will be on show.”

“(Why are you stating the obvious voice) Yeah.”

“(Very helpful voice) You know, there is some special makeup that people use to cover up their tattoos, but it may damage your dress.”

“(I’ve been getting tattoos for over a decade so why would I be ashamed of them voice) I’m not the one who wants to cover up my tattoos.”

“(I’m really trying not to control things, honest I’m not voice) Haha, you’re so unconventional compared to other people.”

“(I’m going to start sending annoyed emails again voice) Well, it depends on whose conventions you’re comparing me to.”

*sigh*

I’m already looking to re-design.

No, it’s not a wedding theme I’m thinking of.

Isn’t it amazing how this happens:

People tend to accept my er, less than sociable or conventional ways and most have given up trying to change me.

Then I announce I’m getting married.

Suddenly everyone (well, not everyone, but a surprising number) wants me to have a wedding their way, which includes covering up my tattoos.

Most of these people have known me for long enough, and are well aware that I’m a contrary, stubborn little cow, especially when told what to do. So ‘cover up your tattoos’ is more likely to get me into a halter top than long sleeves — unless, of course, there is some clever reverse reverse psychology going on, where I might do what they want because it’s what they least expect.

I just wanted to write that nonsense down because it amuses me.

Yeah. So. I’m not the kind of person who can write brilliantly funny anecdotes that lead seamlessly to what I want to say, so here goes. Neil and I are getting married this summer.

FAQ

Are you engaged?
No.

Are you pregnant?
Hell no.

Are you going to get a big white dress?
Over my dead body.

Will we see you in Vegas?
Nope. Elvis will have to wait. This pains me greatly.

Have you been planning this for ages and have been this quiet because you didn’t want to say anything?
I’m not THAT organised. While you’re not the first to know, you’re probably not the last, either, dear Internet.

Chinese wedding dinner? Yam seng?!
My uncle will undoubtedly try.

What’s the wackiest idea been so far?
Setting up a videoconference on Skype to broadcast the proceedings to my pals and family who can’t be here. How geeky is that?
(My idea. Neil shook his head in disbelief.)

What was the first thing your sister said when you called her?
“Are you gonna be wearing combat boots?”

What did your cousin’s wife allegedly say when your mother told her you weren’t considering flowers or anything fancy at all?
“What, is she getting married in jeans?”

Your response to that?
“If I could get away with it, hell yeah!”
(I can’t.)

What is the most unbelievable thing about this?
I’ve added a ‘wedding’ category to my WP. Gah!

• went to a charity race night (horse and greyhound races on DVD, place bets, raffle, auction, all proceeds went to the St. Andrew’s Hospice in Lanarkshire)
• tried to go to Body Pump, but the class I’d booked in for wasn’t on, so I used the gym instead
• lazed around watching James Martin on a Yorkshire cooking programme
• had a chipsteak (weird name) and chips for dinner (mmm, takeaway)
• did the weekly shop at Asda
• had a lovely long chat with my mum, then my sister
• computered till bedtime