Parked in

Perhaps it was fitting that I was in a Filipino restaurant when I read the report that Singapore is a little miffed at being put on a watch list for human trafficking:

Thousands of women from poorer Asian countries such as China, the Philippines and Thailand work as call girls and bar hostesses in wealthy Singapore, a bustling port city where prostitution is legal in designated zones.

Undesignated areas are also pretty good for prostitutes if you know where to go (*cough* Duxton Hill *cough*). While I do find it entertaining that the US has ranked itself in the top tier of countries that fight human trafficking (thus seriously calling into question the report’s objectivity), Singaporeans and long-time residents know fine well that the squeaky clean and socially homogeneous image the tourism peeps like to promote is so untrue.

What happens if they both want loads of children?

Age difference is key to having most kids: study:

To have the most children, men should find a partner six years younger and women a mate four years older, Austrian researchers said on Wednesday.

This means a totally new interpretation of the term ‘star-crossed lovers’.

She is in no way a violent person

… she just rips bollocks off with her bare hands in rage-induced amnesia.

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

Wah biang eh. A little worse than a bunny boiler, methinks.

(How did the victim end up naked from her pulling his bollock off although he had supposedly spurned her advances? Her advances must have been acceptable up to the point when he only had his underpants on.)

Feeling sad for people

Sex Change Hospital on More 4. It’s quite sad that some individuals feel so ill-at-ease with their own bodies, they cannot identify with the gender they were born with, and they end up spending so much money and suffer so much discomfort and pain to try and feel normal.

I wonder if my mother worried about whether I suffered from gender dysphoria when I was younger, I always wanted to be a boy back then (I think I felt that I couldn’t do as much as a girl). I am comfortable in my own skin, though, and have been for a number of years, so the status quo has been preserved.

Blobs are usually asexual, right?

Freakzoids. The Polish childrens’ rights watchdog wants to investigate the annoying Teletubbies, in case they promote homosexuality. I think they should be more afraid of them promoting gibberish.

A vaccine for cervical cancer

… available for females aged nine to 26. I recall being told that it was important for women to get pap smears once they become sexually active to check for cervical cancer, so I’m thinking, nine year olds are sexually active? WTF?

Is this where people who like to sit on swings get together and talk about their hobby?

Group sex among consenting adults is ‘not a threat to society’, Canadian court says. Sanity prevails.

Things like sex and religion (I love how the sound of the two just roll so naturally off my tongue), if they aren’t hurting nor forcing things on anyone, are private matters and should not be legislated.

Merry wife- and husband-swapping Christmas to you!

(No, I’m not into swinging.)

No gay Christmas orgy for you

The Singapore police (and the Ministry of Home Affairs) have turned down a request (application for Public Entertainment Licence, I imagine) from Fridae.com to hold a Christmas party:

The Home Affairs Ministry upheld the ban on Monday after an appeal by Fridae.com, saying public displays of intimate behaviour at the party would be an “affront and unacceptable to the large majority of Singaporeans”.

Because, you know, those foam parties they let everyone into on Sentosa over New Year’s aren’t really places where sweaty teenage boys go to feel girls up.

Because, naturally, Singapore is a progressive place for the arts and culture (where corporations should invest and tourists should visit) but is simultaneously extremely socially conservative and traditional.

Because, obviously, if you’re gay you must have raging hormones and have no control over how you conduct yourself in public. Like straight couples have a better idea of the notion.

That’s what they’re saying, isn’t it? These bloody homos have no place in gracious Singapore society since they are all depraved licentious beings who will not hesitate to ravish all and sundry, gay or straight (and God Forbid, turning some of our strapping young men into simpering fags) if they were allowed to have a rainbow-coloured Christmas party.

Unless, of course, they keep their heads down and aren’t open about their sexuality while they contribute to the GDP. Then they’re okay to have amongst our ranks.

(I do not mean to leave girls out, but gay girls are a less uncomfortable, less believable… notion in Singapore. It’s all that illegal porn we get.)

What a load of fucking idiots, these bureaucrats. Once again, they have ensured that the only time Singapore gets in the international news is when they do something incredibly fucking ridiculous.

Additional notes: check out Fridae.com’s press release. Fridae.com has also published a bunch of letters from supporters.

(You want to protest? Vote with your wallet; it’s the only thing the Singaporean government understands. Do not support the Arts Festival. Do not support the Buskers Festival. Do not support The Esplanade. Do not support the next harebrained tourism idea the STB comes up with. Don’t go to Singapore. If you do, only visit gay-friendly establishments. Writing letters to the media will only make the MHA stick to their decision more stubbornly — they cannot be seen as having made the wrong decision.)

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