Cockney is not a language, it’s slang
24 August 2009

Neil and I have undertaken Quite The Project*. We bought a box set featuring all the movies that are, supposedly, part of The Exorcist series, and here’s how we’ve judged them so far (because judging horror films is an important part of a cultured person’s life, didn’t you know):

  • Dominion — hmm, the plot kind of sounds like Exorcist: The Beginning, which we recall seeing once a few years ago. Another young person gets possessed, there’s an underground cavern for demon worship and a very elaborate church with scenes of God casting Lucifer down to hell. The lady doctor is quite hot. The movie is slow, the digital graphics are woeful, generally NOT GOOD.
  • Exorcist: The Beginning — we thought Dominion came before this one but Google tells me it was released one year later (because this one got bad reviews). It’s basically a similar story using similar sets and a more conventionally beautiful doctor, the former Bond chick. The digital effects are better, the story is slightly more what you would expect, but it’s weird watching both prequels in the same night. Deja vu! But also NOT TOO GOOD.
  • The Exorcist — the original and the best, right? I’ve never seen this, only a few scenes here and there, and I’ve read small parts of the novel that inspired it (somewhat nasty for a primary school kid to read, I think). PRETTY DECENT, but why would the demon be all, “The Bitch is Mine!” then simply acquiesce when Father Karras shouts, “Take me!”? I also like how really only Regan’s room was the scene of the action, with the rest of the house left relatively untouched by the possession. Also, the beginning of the film shows the demon statue uncovered by Father Merrin (again?! He’s older in this one, surely he remembers finding it three decades previous) as standing proud above ground, not in the underground cavern (from the two prequels — he must have been really confused by that).
  • Exorcist II: The Heretic — one of the WORST FILMS EVER. Words cannot describe how woefully bad this is. All I can do is compare it to two recent film choices Neil has made (Outlander and The Sin Eaters), and put it to you that Neil should no longer be allowed to choose any of the films we watch.

Exorcist III beckons (heh).

* This is distinct from The Kitchen Project, which we should have hopefully concluded in a few weeks’ time (finally). Neil is allowed to do DIY.

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