No prizes for guessing which participant in this phone conversation is my mum.
“So what are you wearing?”
“A blue cheongsam.”
“(Happy voice) Oh that’s good… is it sleeveless or will it have sleeves?”
“It’s sleeveless, but a traditional design.”
“So your tattoos will be on show.”
“(Why are you stating the obvious voice) Yeah.”
“(Very helpful voice) You know, there is some special makeup that people use to cover up their tattoos, but it may damage your dress.”
“(I’ve been getting tattoos for over a decade so why would I be ashamed of them voice) I’m not the one who wants to cover up my tattoos.”
“(I’m really trying not to control things, honest I’m not voice) Haha, you’re so unconventional compared to other people.”
“(I’m going to start sending annoyed emails again voice) Well, it depends on whose conventions you’re comparing me to.”
*sigh*
Singapore TV fined for gay scenes:
In the episode concerned MDA said the host of the show helped a gay couple transform their room into a new nursery for their adopted baby and congratulated and acknowledged them as a family unit.
The episode, which aired in January, “normalises their gay lifestyle and unconventional family setup”, MDA said.
For one thing, I’m shocked they actually wanted to film a same-sex couple and their child. Second, GOD FORBID Singaporeans should think being unconventional is okay — we need to focus on being creative and innovative.
(Can you drag Singaporeans into modern doing while protecting their archaic thinking?)
I’m already looking to re-design.
No, it’s not a wedding theme I’m thinking of.
Isn’t it amazing how this happens:
People tend to accept my er, less than sociable or conventional ways and most have given up trying to change me.
Then I announce I’m getting married.
Suddenly everyone (well, not everyone, but a surprising number) wants me to have a wedding their way, which includes covering up my tattoos.
Most of these people have known me for long enough, and are well aware that I’m a contrary, stubborn little cow, especially when told what to do. So ‘cover up your tattoos’ is more likely to get me into a halter top than long sleeves — unless, of course, there is some clever reverse reverse psychology going on, where I might do what they want because it’s what they least expect.
I just wanted to write that nonsense down because it amuses me.
Yeah. So. I’m not the kind of person who can write brilliantly funny anecdotes that lead seamlessly to what I want to say, so here goes. Neil and I are getting married this summer.
FAQ
Are you engaged?
No.
Are you pregnant?
Hell no.
Are you going to get a big white dress?
Over my dead body.
Will we see you in Vegas?
Nope. Elvis will have to wait. This pains me greatly.
Have you been planning this for ages and have been this quiet because you didn’t want to say anything?
I’m not THAT organised. While you’re not the first to know, you’re probably not the last, either, dear Internet.
Chinese wedding dinner? Yam seng?!
My uncle will undoubtedly try.
What’s the wackiest idea been so far?
Setting up a videoconference on Skype to broadcast the proceedings to my pals and family who can’t be here. How geeky is that?
(My idea. Neil shook his head in disbelief.)
What was the first thing your sister said when you called her?
“Are you gonna be wearing combat boots?”
What did your cousin’s wife allegedly say when your mother told her you weren’t considering flowers or anything fancy at all?
“What, is she getting married in jeans?”
Your response to that?
“If I could get away with it, hell yeah!”
(I can’t.)
What is the most unbelievable thing about this?
I’ve added a ‘wedding’ category to my WP. Gah!
- went to a charity race night (horse and greyhound races on DVD, place bets, raffle, auction, all proceeds went to the St. Andrew’s Hospice in Lanarkshire)
- tried to go to Body Pump, but the class I’d booked in for wasn’t on, so I used the gym instead
- lazed around watching James Martin on a Yorkshire cooking programme
- had a chipsteak (weird name) and chips for dinner (mmm, takeaway)
- did the weekly shop at Asda
- had a lovely long chat with my mum, then my sister
- computered till bedtime
* But if I’d stayed in Singapore instead of tramping around the world doing random jobs I probably would.
I’ve just looked at Facebook’s People you might know application — I definitely don’t know Jeffrey Zeldman, and it’s really interesting to see how small Singapore is. A lot of people I know who I wouldn’t think have a connection in any way have mutual friends.
Fathers want to be left holding the baby:
The health service is simply used to doling out advice to new mothers and doling out expectations, too, with no sense that fathers should be made similarly aware from the very beginning. When it comes to newly borns, fathers are considered an optional extra, and this father, for one, finds that deplorable.
Just by reading the silly and sometimes sexist comments on this article, how can any reasonable person not come to realise that there is no ‘one size fits all’ policy? IMHO, if a couple chooses to have all the bells and whistles (entire family present, private room, etc. etc.) when delivering an infant in hospital, they can jolly well pay for it.
All the NHS should be obligated to provide is a no frills, hygienic (hah) obstetrics service. No frills mean only the health of the newborn and mother are their direct concern. It’s not about considering a single mother’s feelings or providing father-baby bonding time, it’s about delivering babies efficiently and doing what they can to prevent complications. In this case, a father’s ‘feelings’ are most definitely an optional extra!
(Who wouldn’t want a fairly good-looking man like Andrew O’Hagan, if he was your baby-daddy, to be present, though?)
Chinese ambassador warns of backlash:
The ambassador warned that negative media coverage and the protests that have dogged the Olympic torch relay were damaging the west’s image in China.
“Many who had romantic views of the west are very disappointed at the media’s attempt to demonise China. We all know demonisation feeds a counter-reaction,” she said. “Many complain about China not allowing enough access to the media. In China, the view is that the western media need to earn respect.”
Don’t you love political leaders who ignore reality? Sweetheart, from my experience of living in China, Chinese people don’t have a truly romanticised view of ‘the West’. They just see it as an opportunity to get out of China, make some money, and return (if they don’t manage to get citizenship) to live a more comfortable life.
And there’s that “If I repeat the lie enough, it will become fact” effort of claiming how happy most Tibetans are to be overrun by Han Chinese. I’m ethnically Han Chinese and I know this is complete bullshit.
See also Made in China. We should all be more frugal anyway, whatever our political stance. In my fantasy world, the best way for China to move forward, both politically and economically, is to be split into several smaller, more manageable, independent countries — the place is simply too big to be run in a remotely effective manner, hence the ridiculously crappy state it’s in. I can’t quite see the CCP going for that, though.
- met Neil, Brian and Carene at The Voodoo Rooms for dinner and drinks
- let Neil laze around (’twas his birthday!)
- computered
- had dinner with Neil’s mother and sister in China Blue (yum)
- did the weekly shop at Asda
- explored Craignethan Castle (Neil, here’s why it’s called Tillietudlem Castle!)
- was highly amused to find out from Brian that after The Voodoo Rooms on Friday, Neil went up to the counter at McDonalds to order a Whopper
- computered and watched Gangs Of New York (I wasn’t paying that much attention, but it was a little more maudlin than it needed to be, IMHO)
- computered and watched Desperate Housewives because neither Neil nor I could be bothered changing the channel
Torch song trilogy:
One place the Tibetan flag no longer flies is in the window of a bed shop in the English city of Sheffield. Its owner is a Tibetan sympathiser, who displayed the flag last month. Two young Chinese, apparently students, visited and made threats. That night his windows were smashed. A celebration supposed to mark China’s emergence as a friendly global power has made some people think for the first time that its rise is something to fear.
Only if they start seriously bullying big businesses from developed countries, I reckon, will governments start to worry about what China’s rise really means.
I went to Body Pump last night. True to form, I got there early, which was good because the class was so busy there wasn’t enough equipment for everyone. The hall was pretty crowded, not taking into account the magically enormous berth all participants give the instructor.
I’m not that shy. I have no interest hiding out the back where I can’t keep an eye on what it is he’s doing, so I was front and side yesterday evening. However, I have a problem with there being so many people in the class. I’m not sure why — I think I find it too impersonal.
The irony is part of my reason for doing a weight-training class is to be more sociable, get out there, speak and be spoken to, etc. And I really cannae be bothered to be sociable with that many people, people who already have their own wee cliques that an only-on-a-Saturday-morning Body Pump participant cannot break into.
Body Pump on Saturday morning is only half as full. We’ve got a bloke in the class now, too. I know I’ve become old when I cheerfully eschew going out for drinks on a Friday night so I can make the class the next day. Having paid for a membership probably helps, too.
- stayed up (not late) watching some programme about young stars and then Jonathon Ross (which explains the wibbly tweet about Nigel Marven)
- went to Body Pump
- sat down and watched the final 10 minutes of Saturday Kitchen (with guest Nigel Marven, boy was I doing well) and Take on the Takeaway with guest chef Ken Hom
- watched cooking programmes and computered
- had dinner at Wannaburger
- watched Grindhouse at the Filmhouse
- did the weekly shop at Asda
- went to the gym
- finished reading The Fire Gospel (which will be published in November)
- watched CSI Sunday episodes (never watched a complete episode) while trying to crochet a new hat
