Reasons I’m going batshit insane, #3
As the saying goes, You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. Neil has been exceedingly (and now, increasingly) aggrieved that he is now the only member of his family who doesn’t smoke.
His mother has been enjoying her freedom to smoke by smoking everywhere in the bloody house since we’ve moved over the road. Which is not great for things like my yarn that still lives there. I guess I’m Febreze-ing everything when we’ve finally got storage for them.
His sister also smokes heavily, and when she’s not mad at Neil she smokes only up in her room and on the porch. Most unfortunately, as non- and former smokers know, it doesn’t matter if the door’s shut — the smoke still gets everywhere. Neil was heard muttering, “What’s the point of having a shower when I’m surrounded by smoke the moment I step out of the bathroom?” this morning.
(Point to note: his sister had agreed to stop smoking once the house started being renovated. Clearly, her definition of ‘house’ does not include the kitchen or any bedroom. And, I suspect, the bathroom or either living room. Or the hall. One might feel Neil’s pain, but one should also note that Neil knows very well that his mother and sister forget things they’ve agreed to if it doesn’t suit them.)
Neil, you know you’re one of the most important people in my life and I love you to bits, but HONEY, it’s not like they’ve ever seriously contemplated quitting the habit. You may really want them to, for a less stinky house and their (and our) general health, but, as you’ve pointed out kajillions of times, if you ever try to tell them something, they do the exact opposite just to piss you off. You were absolutely determined to move into this house, with your sister who smokes. Things are going to smell like smoke.
Unless, of course, there are ways we can minimise the impact of a smoker in the house. I’ve thought of draught-proofing her room (sure to cause a fight and huffy living-room smoking) and installing an exhaust fan upstairs (sadly impractical). We’ve got one of those water-based air purifiers — maybe I can turn it on when I get up in the morning (nothing sexier than a lady who has a lit cigarette hangin’ outta her gob while she’s getting ready for work) to minimise the levels of Neil-grumbles.
I’m looking for more ideas. Ideas must be subtle enough to avoid fights with someone who behaves as though she’s pre-menstrual all year round, but effective at soaking up smoky smells. I suspect the air purifier is the only way, but I’m happy to stand corrected.
In gripes
Comments
…This is like something outta tv.
To answer your question, good luck with your search. If there was an easy way to sequester cigarette smoke that didn’t involve going outdoors, I think we ALL would’ve started doing it ages ago.
[I'm not the sort to shave with a cigarette dangling from my mouth - in fact, I don't smoke in the toilet at all - but elsewise I could probably give Neil's sister a run for her money. Except that I do notice where my smoke goes, and what it smells like once it's on every-damn thing.]
…This is like something outta tv.
And I live it. Every single fucking day.
Do big farts…
At least it’s your odour!
I would imagine the exhaust fan and draught proofing would minimize the smoke smell but it wouldn’t eliminate it if the people causing it at cooperating.
The only solutions is to get them to smoke outside (which sounds like it would be a tough sell) or move out again (which doesn’t sound like something Neil or you would want to do again). You could also threaten moving out - though threats very rarely work :)
Good luck. If it was me I’d be moving out. I can’t stand everything smelling like smoke, plus the harm to my health. Thankfully I’ve never lived with smokers - well there was the one basement dwelling chronic pot smoker but it usually didn’t drift into the rest of the house.
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