Probably my favourite quote for today: “The Beijing News said on Friday the latest steps included seeking feedback from citizens about a new regulation banning toxic nitrates in restaurants, and fining food makers up to 500,000 yuan ($66,000) for problematic products.”

Because, you know, citizens may not want to ban toxic chemicals in their restaurant food.

I’ve thought about this sort of thing while I was smoking, and since I’ve stopped (FIVE YEARS ago this month). Being of a libertarian persuasion, I very much support the smoker’s right to smoke, because they have CHOSEN to do so (in spite of all the evidence pointing to its lethal effects). Prior to any smoking ban in pubs, I would say that non-smokers chose to go to these venues, knowing that they would be smoky. As the linked news article says, people should have the “right to the peaceful enjoyment of possessions.”

However. When one’s enjoyment of their possessions directly affects and negatively impacts others’ own health and/or enjoyment, this gets quite sticky, surely? Or does an individual’s rights supercede all other individuals’ rights? That clearly makes no sense whatsoever, so we know that can’t be correct.

Does a government act correctly in enacting a smoking ban in enclosed public places? If they were avowed libertarians (assuming secondhand smoke does NOT intrude on other people’s ‘liberty to breathe smoke-free air’), the answer would be an unequivocal no. But Labour is supposed to be socialist, and socialism is all about the top-down.

As it stands, the smoking ban in Scotland usually means we have to get by all the smokers huddled around the entrances of pubs and clubs, which is quite unpleasant. And that the usually less-than-stellar standards of plumbing and personal hygiene after some have had a few drinks mean the toilets emanate a stench far beyond its borders (that were once disguised under the smoke). One of the criticisms of the ban is that local councils have not granted planning permission (yet another thing one can complain about) quickly enough for affected businesses to build new outdoor facilities for smokers (I read this somewhere but can’t remember the source).

I think, in the end, what should happen (from my libertarian perspective) is that smokers should have the right to smoke wherever they want, provided they do not, as a result, compel others to inhale secondhand smoke. A government, whether national or local, should not stand in the way of businesses providing smoker-friendly and smoke-free facilities for all their customers.

If anyone needs proof that Britons (well, these two at the very least) absolutely expect to accept no responsibility for anything, they just have to read this article — Motorists lose speed camera case:

Idris Francis, of Petersfield, Hants, and Gerard O’Halloran, from London, argued that current rules forced car owners to incriminate themselves.

They said human rights were breached by making a car’s owner name the driver if the vehicle is caught speeding.

…

Judges acknowledged that both men had been faced compulsion to provide information, but threw out their claim that the right to remain silent and the right not to incriminate oneself are “absolute rights”.

Their judgement noted that people “who choose to keep and drive cars” have implicitly “accepted certain responsibilities” under UK law.

…

Mr Francis said after the verdict: “The fight for freedom goes on. We can’t allow the tyrants, who are taking away our rights, to succeed. They have to be stopped.”

OMFG. ‘The fight for freedom’? Do they realise how fucking ludicrous they sound?

One glass of UHT apple juice counts as one portion of my five a day. One entire bag of fresh spinach salad counts as one portion of my five a day.

(That’s what it says on the bag. And on the box of juice*.)

Part of my drive to try and live a healthier life — without my mother nagging me to eat better, as she was wont to do** — involves drinking more milk and eating more fruit and veg. I remember a grandfather advising that I should eat lots of bananas so I will never suffer constipation (we like these sorts of conversations with grandparents).

How can one glass of processed juice be the same as a reasonable-sized serving of salad leaves in the ‘good for you’ department?

* Although they say only one glass, no more, contributes to your five a day.
** When all I ate, as a child, was crisps and other assorted junk food, you would nag, too.

Ancestors of our cute feathered, fish-eating friends were 1.5m tall. The artist’s impression makes it look like a cross between a seagull and penguin.

Skree!

Maybe it’s because I’m Singaporean*, but Network Rail workers are planning to go on strike AGAIN because they didn’t get their bonuses because of a previous strike.

Yes. Because they went on strike and lost their bonus as a result, THEY ARE GOING ON STRIKE.

“We have been trying to get management to reconsider their position but the bosses have said they will not talk to us,” said Mr Crow.

“Our members have been treated appallingly by Network Rail. What has happened in Scotland means that any group of workers going on strike could lose their bonus.”

Hello? Reality check! They have the right to strike, but a BONUS IS NOT A GIVEN. That’s why it’s called a freakin’ bonus. If your performance is considered unsatisfactory you don’t get a bloody bonus. Network Rail says,

“Those who took strike action in Scotland had a clear understanding at the time that their discretionary bonus would be at risk so it can hardly be surprising that their bonuses were affected.”

These union workers are seriously, completely, totally fucking stupid. They’re being led around by the nose, the RMT is doing them a major disservice by kicking up a huge stink about a situation of their own making.

* It’s not because I’m Singaporean — it’s because, unlike these workers, I (and loads of other people) live in the real world.

• made quite a dent in my to-do list (but not enough of one!)
• got up early to geet a haircut and meet Carene to get the hire bus into town for her hen ‘party’ (I use quotes because it did not involve pink cowboy hats and male strippers)
• watched Guys and Dolls (I’m not into musicals in general but I love the costumes and swing music — also, they were all drooling over Darius Danesh, who I think looks a little like my friend Edward)
• had an early dinner at Giuliano’s (mmm, mussels)
• headed over to the Wetherspoons next door and stayed there (what crappy weather, on the day of the Pride parade in Edinburgh, too)
• went back to Carene’s for a drink (then, once again, dozed off) and waited for Neil to arrive with Brian and Tommy so we could walk home together (it was already light! At 4am!)
• slept in (unsurprisingly)
• did the weekly shop in Livingston
• went to the other house to plan and dream about how great it’ll look when it’s done
• finished some of my birthday crafting (as in crafting for other people’s birthdays)
• watched something called Medium (wasn’t impressed)

Tomorrow I am going to my first ever ‘hen’ thing. It’s not really a hen night because we’re starting in the evening afternoon, and I’m really glad there has been no mention of silly t-shirts or fake feather boas.

I’m dying to keep going on my crafting and computering (outside of work, CSI and House, that’s all I do) — who knew what I thought was relatively simple crocheting could take so long — I guess it’ll have to be Sunday when I rotate between stiff fingers from holding the hook for too long, or tired eyes from staring at the screen for too long.

My life ain’t too interesting, so how come there’s so damn much to do?

Girl, 16, hit with alcohol ban and night-time curfew:

A GIRL of 16 has been banned from drinking any alcohol for the next four weeks and if police smell drink on her breath, then Sandi Lauder will have committed an offence.

Unless the legal drinking age is now lower than 18 (and it isn’t), I’m sure she’s kind of banned ANYWAY. As all under-18s are.

(BTW, I love being able to skim the entire contents of The Economist print edition on Google Reader.)

… she just rips bollocks off with her bare hands in rage-induced amnesia.

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

Wah biang eh. A little worse than a bunny boiler, methinks.

(How did the victim end up naked from her pulling his bollock off although he had supposedly spurned her advances? Her advances must have been acceptable up to the point when he only had his underpants on.)

I’m very, very tempted to remove all my handcoded, static archives, and slowly, LABORIOUSLY, enter them into WordPress so my archives are all in one place (and I can fix any posts that are essentially dead or no longer suitable). The post numbers will be all fucked up, but I’m not about search engine-friendly URLs on this bloog anyway, so it doesn’t matter (or maybe I should do the nice permalinks thing just because I can).

Anyone at all think this is a good idea? With my rather panicked crafting of various swap items and birthday presents, WOX once a week (yes, it’s baaaccckkk, I’m going to start helping out as editor at large), and potential general not-very-manual labouring on the house project, deciding to move my static archives to WordPress seems dead foolhardy.

However.

Manually re-formatting the archives is a serious pain in the arse (if you look at what’s there at the moment, you’ll see they’re all over the fucking shop), and I am currently obsessed with reworking the site so as much of it is powered by WordPress as possible (fewer re-design headaches). I’m going to have to redo all the image URLs, though. That’ll be fun.

It’s all quite fluffy and silly, How to Look Good Naked, but I do appreciate the message behind the whole series — that you can appreciate your body for its uniqueness, and dress to highlight your favourite bits. We aren’t all tall and skinny.

(But the irony is he uses images from catwalk shows to illustrate what clothing styles suit whom. What’s with his penchant for gold and silver lamé bags? They’re not very nice. Also, high heels. They may make your legs look longer, but they fuck up your feet. A podiatrist told me I wear the best shoes, and they’re all flat and well-supported.)

I believe the host, Gok Wan, mentions quite frequently (I’ve only seen this twice, to be honest) that people are clamouring for ‘real size’ models to grace the pages of magazines. According to my sister, they may clamour, but they won’t buy. And if they won’t buy, advertisers won’t spend.

Anyway, I enjoy the show for some lighthearted self-esteem-boosting right before a more grisly CSI. Too bad that was the last one (How to Look Good Naked, not CSI).

(I am quite looking forward to the season finale of CSI, it looks like it’s building up to a very suspenseful one. CSI: Miami was particularly woeful last night. So bad it wasn’t even kitsch.)

The hidden price of a Christmas bestseller. Personally, I go for the discount and ‘3 for 2′-type sections myself.

(The latter is also driven by charging publishers.)

Books are dead expensive, aren’t they?

About that Salman Rushdie fellow receiving a knighthood — I wasn’t too interested, I’ve only read Fury, and definitely not attempted The Satanic Verses, even though it should probably on a list somewhere.

What I find amusing is the response from the Muslim world. They want the knighthood retracted because it hurts their feelings? <snark>I’m sure the avowed nationalist Sean Connery accepting a knighthood and SNP leader Alex Salmond accepting an invitation to the Privy Council ‘hurts the feelings’ of true Scottish nationalists everywhere, but I don’t hear them protesting for a retraction.</snark>

What I have a problem is the absolutism of these ‘religious’ types. Could non-Muslims say that all the ‘infidel’ comments hurt our feelings and we demand they stop it now? That would just make us Muslim-haters.

Fookin’ numpties. As Neil would say.

Neil will say it but doesn’t want to use his own server space to post about things of interest because he is a natural born troll. Here is the latest. You know that news about Alan Johnston’s kidnappers threatening to kill him if their demands aren’t met? Neil says the weapons the Army of Islam (all masked, why are those doing Allah’s work so afraid to reveal themselves?) were carrying are M-16s, not AK-47s, which are apparently the rifle of choice (AK-47s are more deadly or something). AK-47s are Russian and easily available.

The M-16 is American.

(Slightly worrying amount of detail in this M-16 vs. AK-47 comparison page.)

Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

(I don’t actually know if they were carrying M-16s, Neil was 100% positive they were, so if I’m wrong, he’s wrong.)

It’s actually 30 seconds. Wah biang eh. For a klutz like me, this news is a Godsend.

Via not martha.

• bought some slightly lighter clothes for summer layering at the Next outlet (my haul: two short-sleeved poplin shirts, one green hooded top, one long long cardigan, and baggy red obi-waist short trousers)
• had lunch at Pizza Express (£30 for two people?!)
• had a poke around B&Q
• discovered my bargain Next full-length cardigan’s belt was missing
• had some roast duck with mushrooms (button mushrooms?!) from the Chinese takeaway
• watched bad music videos (I love bad music videos)
• went back to Next to try and find the missing belt (got a brown one, bought dye)
• did a little sewing (while Neil watched the Indianapolis F1 unfold in its normal spectacularly unexciting fashion — even with the crash in the first turn ejecting three drivers)
• defrosted the leftover barbecue meats and enjoyed a sodium-packed grilled dinner
• watched Envy (we’ve already got it on DVD, but it appears Neil likes to watch it with all the ads — heehee)

Idiots, the lot of us: “But in this country, while you have to be competent to pull off a terrorist attack, you don’t have to be competent to cause terror. All you need to do is start plotting an attack and — regardless of whether or not you have a viable plan, weapons or even the faintest clue — the media will aid you in terrorizing the entire population.” — Bruce Schneier, Portrait of the Modern Terrorist as an Idiot

I’ve been trying to tell Neil about this for weeks, all I remembered was the number 4711 cologne that my grandfather used. He had no idea what I was going on about, and today I finally looked it up. I loved those faceted bottles.

Aside from Neil’s nickname for one of his pals, I’m not getting this British ‘dumpling’. To me, a dumpling is meat wrapped in a dough or pastry skin, then steamed, pan-fried, boiled, or deep-fried. In my Co-op brand snack-size ready meal, their ‘dumplings’ are two lumps of cooked dough.

The difference in the interpretations of dumplings between East and West, I think, is a major stumbling block to world peace. If it wasn’t for

• pizza
• steak
• pâté
• olives
• anchovies
• pies
• pasties
• biscuits
• chocolate ice cream
• Oreos
• Tootsie Rolls
• crisps

I would say food from the West could not hold a candle to the East.