How to solve Britain’s problems

Bring in Singapore-style punishments.

For instance, Anti-Social Behaviour Orders, or ASBOs. It turns out that the yoof of today see ASBOs as a badge of honour (this is not stop the presses news). To curb this very disturbing but wholly predictable turn of events, all one has to do is change a few letters — from ASBO to CWO (Corrective Work Order, where offenders are required to wear a very unstylish vest and clean up the streets in full public view). And it helps another problem area, too.

Many neighbourhoods have a serious problem with public cleanliness. There’s loads of graffiti and broken glass, and these don’t get cleaned up. And the streets just get filthier and less safe. I’m not sure why that is — no one wants to do the work? And since everyone and their grandmother has read The Tipping Point, we all know that there is something about these small changes that could tip things over. So, for those who haven’t yet worked out what I’m trying to say — YOB commits minor, non-jailable offence -> YOB is served with CWO, requiring him or her to either remove graffiti or clean up the streets. Result? Streets and walls are cleaner, yob is in no way shown as tough and cool (no one can look particularly tough nor cool in a fluorescent yellow vest with a big CWO printed across the back), and it’s clear that local councils aren’t going to stand for even the smallest anti-social infraction. Problem on its way to being solved.

And I spent some time in a Social Security office today. That’s another thing, I’ve heard loads of stories of people who do not deserve to get welfare benefits but are gaming the system. People pretend to be disabled to get mobility cars. People pretend to be sick to take long-term, full-pay sick leave, go back to work when benefits are about to be cut, work the minimum length of time in order to qualify for long-term sick leave again, and then TRAGICALLY suffer a relapse. People who are supposedly incapacitated for medical reasons can visit the benefits office repeatedly to find out why they’re not getting their full payment. I say take away the current system of welfare benefits. If someone says they can’t find a job, the state can pay for re-training and job hunting, assuming it can be proved (i.e. registered re-training institutions and checking references). Applicants should be means tested to see if they are really in need of additional help. Mean testing already exist, so it can’t be too much of a stretch.

Clearly, I am not speaking from a position of authority. I’m just observing what’s going on around me, and what I see is a lot of people feel they are ENTITLED to have the state support them even though they could support themselves if they just tried. Maybe if welfare benefits weren’t so easy to get, those who do pay tax and work for a living would be able to see their money going to causes that are more worthwhile, i.e. helping those who really need it, either through social security or the NHS.

I reckon people are people. Wherever we’re from, it’s all human nature to try to get away with stuff.

• 21 Nov 2006