O.M.F.G.

This clearly isn’t something new, but what the high holy hell were they thinking? CHINESEUNITE INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL? What, so our precious Chinese IB students don’t get influenced by those dastardly lesser races? Do we need uniting? I didn’t know things were that fractious!

I understand a need for Chinese students to get a good grasp of the Chinese language, especially Mainland Chinese kids who are going to go home, but why not just call it Chinese International School? It works for Canada, Australia, the US (and probably many others, but I’m not too familiar with the international school scene in Singapore — funny that).

And their website… another banging-my-head-on-the-table experience (well, I slammed my palms against my temples many times).

AAAAUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! This is like an affirmation of what Neil and I saw in China — there are only two countries in the world, China and the United States. Gah, this makes me want to, I don’t know, smack someone. Let’s hope none of my mother’s cats does something stupid in the next hour or so while I’m still fuming.

Also, I just KNOW that the people who will flock to this school are also the ones who cry racism at any perceived slight. Try setting up an “Americanunite” International School (or, God Forbid, “Britishunite”, but even the poms have more class) in Singapore and watch the venom fly at those bloody ang mohs who think they’re so much better than us Singaporeans (and steal our jobs and our women and are so colonial and blah blah blah).

The quality of the English language page also confirms that while the students may get a good grounding in Mandarin Chinese, their English is seriously going to suck.

Eh? I don’t even know what this means. What’d they do, put it through Babelfish? Use one of those wee electronic dictionaries so popular in China?

One would hope that since they are a proper school, a curriculum is kind of an unspoken necessity. They also provide

*cough*

(And by the way, their Chinese name, 汉合, means Han Chinese unite, not Chinese unite. The plot thickens.)

And this gem from their ‘F&Q‘ (sigh) page (sorry this one’s so small):

I hope their teachers have a better intelligent level and the good methods to be teaching the students than their web content editor.

(BTW, one of my aunts asked if I was allowed to make fun of things in Singapore on my website. I’ve been doing it for over five years, why stop now?)

• 24 Aug 2006