Cabbie issues
Ever have one of those days in Xiamen where you get in a cab and the driver is familiar with your intended destination, what the best route is (and if he doesn’t, has a map with which to consult for directions*), and drives safely and carefully, but not too slowly, delivering you to your destination in a clean, neutral-smelling vehicle, then quickly collecting your money and giving you the right change?
Bet you can count those incidents on the fingers of one hand.
I do swear that cab drivers in Xiamen must pass a special screening test, the kind that you fail if you exhibit more intelligence than the average slug.
Evidence:
The attraction of slow cycle / bus lanes
No matter the situation on the road, be it clear or congested, if there is a bus and/or cycle lane that is busy with buses starting and stopping, cyclists, and pedestrians, the Xiamen taxi driver will gravitate towards it to ’save time’. Most of the time this means you get stuck behind a bus, with your driver craning his head out of the window to see if he can get round it, tsking all the while. Then when you have to turn left at an intersection the driver drives across three lanes of traffic to cut someone off because he has to turn left before anyone else.
Drivers without licences or any driving experience
Yes, unscrupulous cab licence holders will employ those who do not know how to drive to drive their taxis while they are off-duty. We recently got a taxi whose driver didn’t know he was driving into oncoming traffic, who then decided to slowly drive across four lanes of traffic to turn right because I told him he was in the wrong lane to turn left, so we got out of that cab post-haste. Who in their right minds would send someone with who can’t drive off to certain prangdom?
Non-destination-reaching drop-off
Say you’re a taxi driver and you’ve picked up a fare who wants you to go to destination A. You drive them to destination B, which is 300 metres from destination A, stop, and tell them to walk through that dark alley over there to get to their actual destination. Do you: a) giggle, say it was a joke, and drive them to destination A; b) sit and wait to get paid? If you picked b), congratulations, you’re right. Which cab driver who is not completely out of their tree expects a customer to pay them after they have not driven them to where they requested, but tells them to walk through a dark alley to get there instead?
Update: I forgot to mention this one when I first posted the entry, but:
When ’stop’ doesn’t mean ’stop’
How many times have I said, “Please stop here,” to a taxi driver as we approach the entrance of my destination, only to have him slow down to a crawl and creep creep creep along, as I keep saying, “Stop, stop stop!!! STOP, for God’s sake?!”, before he finally stops, ten metres past where I’d first asked him to stop? Far too many.
I’m not even going to get into the transparent ways cab drivers try to cheat passengers of their money**. Listing them is enough: taking the scenic route, refusing to give change, giving counterfeit notes as change, refusing to use the meter, pretending they don’t know where they’re going so they can take the scenic route… and if you’re wondering why I don’t shut up and get my Chinese driver’s licence and buy a car, I am not interested in acquiring the terrible driving skills that one must pick up in order to survive driving in China, as they would replace my current skills, which involve being cautious and looking both ways and using my mirrors and signal lights. Driving in China would completely destroy any ability to drive anywhere else in a safe and law-abiding manner. Also, where on God’s green earth would I find the money to buy a car?
* That I have never seen. A Xiamen cab driver with a map is as rare as a Chinese restaurant with Western toilets.
** Not to say that cab drivers in other countries won’t try these ‘tricks’; but my experience in Singapore is that there is more legal recourse if a cab driver tries to fuck with you. Here, if you’re a foreigner, there are generally no options unless a local Chinese friend stands up for you.
In amoy
Comments
Thanks Andrea, once again you have eloquently expressed my own thoughts…much better than my frequent outbursts of “you f**king moron/idiot/infected monkey’s scrotum/dipshit etc. etc.”
…another habit is the one where the red braking lights on the back of car obviously mean “if you are behind me and these lights come on, accelerate fast and then stop suddenly causing your passenger to hilariously kiss the dashboard or seat in front of them.”
And they laugh when you fly forwards! Little bastards.
… and when they accelerate towards traffic lights which have just turned red.
Or the one who says he is in a hurry and ends up crossing the lake twice and going along Bin Lang Lu to take you to somewhere at the far end of Hubin Nan Lu. But that’s the fastest way!
…and the ones who get really pissed of when you ask for a receipt, and when they say they don’t have one… you just rip-off the whole tape hanging out of the meters “built-in” printer and get out!
I have just been here for a couple of months but can only shake my head to the Chinese traffic attitudes. The right of way has the vehicle that is equipped with the most massive engine. The trucks and buses are of course on the top of the hierarchy. The taxis are also quite agile and belong to this elite club. And if you don’t give way to these bastards, they roll over you - or at least give angry “audible warnings” that this day and night beeping is called. Motorcycle “taxis” are also pretty arrogant, meanwhile the bicycles are almost on the lowest step (I bike although my students are a little bit ashamed: “laoshi - no-one bikes for fun in this country!”). On the lowest level are of course the pedestrians. The crossroads painted on the streets must only be there for fun…
The most terrible is that the Chinese don’t see any weird in this practise: they accept completely that you must give way to the more “powerful”. This is the exact and very describing word they often use!
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