Lately, it’s been more difficult to find a taxi in Xiamen. At off-peak hours, you’re looking fruitlessly. At peak hours, compounded with shift changes, you’re better off walking.

I think we’ve found out why there’s been such a sudden change.

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If anyone really, really wants a sock doll, Star Wars-themed or otherwise, let me know, so I can go out and get more socks in the right colours. I will attempt requests, but please note that I’m not a particularly crafty person and my realms of possibility are rather small (it took me three months to finally get around to making wee Darth).

Hawhaw! I vill slap you with my glove, and we vill duel to ze death: “Apple tried to claim invention, but this patent dispels that,” said Craig McHugh, president of Creative Labs, a Milpitas-based subsidiary. “We are going to look at all the alternatives that the patent provides. We can look at legal remedies.” — Apple’s iPod may face new patent challenge

Stop press: Chinese people are just like people in other countries. A researcher in China is very concerned about the problem of people freely choosing to chat online (with webcams) in various states of undress:

“At first, we thought if was merely a game for a few mentally abnormal people,” the paper quoted Liu as saying. “But as our research continued, we found the problem was much larger than expected,” Liu said.

Bloody Western influence, I tell you. No segment of the Chinese population would naturally have the desire to push social boundaries and indulge sexual fantasies… hang on, what sexual fantasies? Chinese people only reproduce as the country requires, and they are completely conservative and not sexually repressed whatsoever.

European clothing manufacturers are beginning to pull their work out of China, and it’s not all to do with the EU-China textile tiff.

Relief Riders International are going to Sri Lanka on 1st January 2006 to deliver medical care and school supplies to tsunami-affected areas.

Don’t fall for phishing scams that try to get American army families to reveal their banking information. I’ve been getting a bunch of e-mail on my Yahoo! account lately, seeking relatives of [insert name here] See, who was apparently a very wealthy executive in, you guessed it, Nigeria. I’ve been very tempted to write back and ask for more information because, golly gee whiz, I’ve just started doing the See family tree and while the circumstances are tragic indeed, they have uncovered a branch of the family I had not known about and if they could please maybe tell me a little more about this person and their family so I can match it up. I’m too lazy to keep up the counter-scam, though.

(I’ve taken screen shots of their e-mail addresses, they’re after the jump.)

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Maybe video cameras that are used to make docos about Singaporean opposition politicians are different from other video cameras. A normal video camera would malfunction in those situations, I suppose.

My sister always has a deeper tan than I do, even when she goes to Singapore during a New York winter. She loves going to the beach and hitting the pool for a swim and sun tan. She might be an addict…!

Most fearsome Darth Made-In-China,

Don’t kill me, first off. I need to tell your story.

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• had dinner and a party at the floating restaurant (Wayne’s birthday)
• finished off with drinks at The Londoner
• slept in all day Saturday (those drinks finished Saturday off, too)
• had a great dinner at Glass House (their grilled potato slices are amazing)
• had a couple of Bloody Mary’s at The House (Joel made a great Caesar on Friday and I was needing tomato juice)
• had a cheese omelette for brunch (Neil still makes a yummy omelette)
• pootled around at home
• had dinner at Tutto Bene (too! salty!)
• watched Neil have cake and coffee while I gulped water down at Javaromas
• watched Ed Wood (what a great film)

Went to the gym. Got in minor push bike accident on the way (tip for Chinese cyclists: when cycling, try to watch where you’re going, mm’kay? Thanks). Put on ‘50 greatest floor fillers’. Jogged and walked for 45 minutes.

Elvis singing ‘A Little Less Conversation’ when we know he was a fat git is more comforting than watching Kylie gyrate. And he’s more danceable.

It works perfectly in Opera and Firefox, then spits out the guillotine bug in IE. Apparently none of the fixes are perfect, but then neither is IE when it comes to obeying CSS2.

Hehe. Man brings porn DVDs into Singapore, kena caught by Customs, ends up in jail, and finally gets the charges dropped when his brother in the US declares them as his.

The Straits Times newspaper said Singapore state prosecutors had dropped charges of possessing uncertified and obscene films against Tran Nghia Hong after he presented them with a declaration by his brother, stating that he was missing “certain DVDs.”

The films, found by Singapore customs officers in a shipment of his belongings from California, included titles such as “Frivolous Lola,” “Copulation Nation” and “Lord of the Strings”.

Titles for porn videos are hilarious. What happens if you kena caught for bringing in pirated porn DVDs? Does your brother then leave you high and dry because he will get in trouble for buying illegally copied media products?

Omigod omigod, terrorists are preparing to attack an Asian financial centre, and Singapore may be a target… we’re all gonna die, we’re all toast, man!

Aaaaauuuuuggggghhhhhh!

Finally, I agree with John Howard on something: Australians who try to smuggle drugs into Southeast Asia, especially in recent months, are pretty fucking dumb.

Let me preface my first gym visit in for-freakin-ever with this: I do not think I need to lose weight. My muscle tone and general level of fitness, however… leaves much to be desired. And I’m lazy, I don’t want to spend 30 minutes on a bus (not that there is one on the right route) or walk the distance to get to the gym. This new gym I’m trying is totally cool with me parking my push bike in the corner, so my journey is under ten minutes and I get to warm up.

Sweet.

I was all prepared for a gym that was empty, but for the staff and me. Who comes to the gym at 10.30am, anyway? Turns out there are at least a few, and some of them can even afford a personal trainer (and practice partner for Chinese, it appears). So it was a bit of a disappointment that I couldn’t put on my ‘50 greatest floor fillers’ CD (when a 2004 CD lists Take That’s cover of Relight My Fire, you know it’s a quality compilation) for background accompaniment, I had to listen to whatever they were running to.

Which really sucked, because the first video I jogged to was Kylie Minogue singing something. I’m not sure if putting her on the big screen is meant to be motivating or depressing since none of the women I saw at the treadmills, myself included, will ever be a 5′2″ pixie. All of us are taller. And then I had to watch the lead singer of Maroon 5 make out with some model.

Then, you know how when you’re driving or walking and you turn to look at something, your body tends to follow? I almost fell off the damn treadmill watching music videos, which was when I decided to concentrate on the LED display telling me I’m running fucking slowly and grannies could do better than me.

Smart treadmill computer, that one.

After about an hour of alternating jogging with fast walking, I decided my heart must be wondering WTF I’m doing putting it through all this activity, so I signed up for a month’s club membership, got my bicycle and cycled home, enjoying the breeze and cool down.

Boy, are my legs tired.

Going to the gym for a run and a small workout.

For the first time in over a year.

Wish me luck.

If I survive, I’ll (breathlessly) report every excruciating detail. Believe me, it will be excruciating.

I’m a little scared.

Here is the Flickr set from the weekend — Henrik, a Dutch bloke, had a going away party on Saturday night. He promised when inviting us on Thursday night that it would be ‘total destruction’, precisely what sober people want to hear.

So, Chinese and Americans literally see things differently? What about American-born Chinese with immigrant parents, or Southeast Asian Chinese like myself? Inquiring minds want to know.