Nine Dead Gay Guys

I could say their Irish accents were too bloody hard to understand, considering we did not have the benefit of English subtitles on our DVD, but I’d be lying. Nine Dead Gay Guys is about two best mates, Byron and Kenny, who move to London only to find that the streets are not paved with gold, their unemployment benefits don’t amount to much if they spend all their time drinking, and the best pubs in their neighbourhood are gay ones.

What they end up doing (not a spoiler) is giving blowjobs for beer money. But they’re not gay, all right? How this translates into nine dead gay guys is up to the viewer to discover.

Very odd film. The actor who plays Kenny kind of looks like a cross between John Hannah and Robbie Williams, the flat is a tip, and there’s too much of an attachment to a particular electrical appliance. And look out for Jeff’s wife — Neil shouted her name when the credits rolled, leading me to think he had a bit of a thing for her when he was but a wee boy. But I could be wrong.

• 5 Oct 2004