Narcissus was in love with his reflection

My sister sent along the URL for The Mind of the Narcissist.

To a narcissist, love is interchangeable with other emotions, such as awe, respect, admiration, attention, or even being feared (collectively known as Narcissistic Supply). Thus, to him, a projected image, which provokes these reactions in others, is both “loveable and loved”. It also feels like self-love.

The more successful this projected image (or series of successive images) is in generating Narcissistic Supply – the more the narcissist becomes divorced from his True Self and married to the image.

I am not saying that the narcissist does not have a central nucleus of a “self”. All I am saying is that he prefers his image – with which he identifies unreservedly – to his True Self. The True Self becomes serf to the Image. The narcissist, therefore, is not selfish - because his True Self is paralysed and subordinate.

Maybe it’s because we want to see it, but, wow, the fit is uncanny.

• 24 Aug 2004

• Thinking