A funny thing happened on the bus the other day

No matter how prepared I think I am for the vagaries of behaviour that define life in China, something happens that throws me for a complete loop. Without fail.

Here’s the situation. You’re on a 20RMB bus trip, you’re squeezed on with a buttload of Chinese people. A man in your row opens a can of Coke and it goes everywhere, notably, on the sleeve of a very, very foul-mouthed local. He takes the can away from the offender, Guangxi man, a third man says the can’s tab might hold a prize, the tab is retrieved, it apparently reads FIRST PRIZE, 58,000RMB!

What would you do?

Offer all your savings (10,000RMB) to Guangxi man in exchange for ownership of the tab?

Offer him all the money in your wallet (120RMB)?

Remove all your wife’s jewellery and offer it in exchange?

Greed often obscures all that is good and decent. I found much obscurity on this bus trip, as people were, quite literally, falling all over themselves and everyone else to divest Guangxi man of his winning drink tab and make a profit. There was lots of shouting, money being waved around, and general scrabbling and other unpleasant movements were made in an effort to get close to the winner.

There is a saying that the Chinese are the Jews of the East. I know this means Chinese people are mercenary, stingy, and money-hungry - not exactly high praise. An unfair stereotype, some might argue. If the behaviour on this bus was indicative of the Chinese generally, then it is not a stereotype rather than a statement of fact.

I’m sure the couple, as they got off the bus with Guangxi man and the two men who’d first ‘discovered’ the winning tab, were congratulating themselves on managing to cheat the former out of 58,000RMB at very little cost to themselves.

I was quite taken aback by the avarice displayed on the bus. I am quite taken aback by the avarice displayed on a daily basis. Many locals I have come into contact with will, at a moment’s notice, rip you off in order to make an extra buck today, bugger what happens tomorrow or next week. They will steal toilet paper from work if it means they don’t have to pay for it at home - hence, no toilet paper (or soap) is usually supplied at any place of business. They don’t understand why I don’t turn around and rip other people off to benefit myself. They don’t understand why thinking about other people is part of my world view regarding personal enrichment.

Not that I dislike money, or getting my hands on it. I value legal tender as much as the next person, but I think it should be obtained fairly, either through hard work or dumb luck. No cheating allowed.

(Note: this bus trip actually happened. It is a common scam that people fall for in China. Another one is someone offering lots of US dollars for RMB. Counterfeit, naturally.)

• 18 Jun 2004