China is Beckoning, my arse

This is a call to all singaporeans who wishes to have a better life outside of singapore. Come to southern china, the food is good, cheap and housing is affordable.

The prostitutes are cheaper, too, and there’s no shame (or illegality) in going to nightclubs that are one step away from strip joints. Why, you can even get your rocks off at a hairdresser (the ubiquitous Handjob Parlours™)! The food is drenched in MSG and expect your housing to always have problems. Your kids will be sure to start drinking as teenagers because there are no alcohol licencing laws.

Southern China’s not a bad place to live, but I wouldn’t say it’s any better or worse than Singapore.

• 26 May 2004